todo lo que te quice decir

dear matthew
I like you a lot
I realize you’re in a relationship
with someone right now and I respect
that I would like you to know that if you’re ever single
in the future and you want to come visit me in california
I would be open to spending time with you and finding
out how old you were when you wrote your first song

dear jonathan
I liked you too much
I used to be attracted to boys
who would lie to me and think solely about themselves
and you were plenty self-destructive for my taste
at the time I used to say
the more tragic the better the truth is
whenever I think of the early 90’s
your face comes up with a vengeance like it was yesterday

dear terrance
I love you muchly
you’ve been nothing
but open hearted and emotionally available and supportive
and nurturing and consummately there for me
I kept drawing you inand pushing you away
I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep
on your couch and cry in front of you for the first time
you were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself
what was wrong with me?

dear marcus
you rocked my world
you had a charismatic way
about you with the women
and you got me seriously thinking about spirituality
and you wouldn’t let me get away
with kicking my own ass
but I could never really feel relaxed and looked out
for around you though and that stopped us from going any further
than we did and it’s kinda too bad because we could’ve had much more fun

dear lou
we learned so much
I realize we won’t be able to talk for some time
and I understand that as I do you
the long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could
we were together during a very tumultuous time
in our lives I will always have your back and be curious about you
about your career about your whereabouts...

ALANIS MORISSETTE-UNSENT